What Sets the Tone?

Last night’s revelation that I’m excited for someone to truly get to know me lead to another similar revelation today.  My eyes were opened to a significant shift that has been made in my thinking, and I don’t even know when it happened!

Here’s some of the context to my revelation: today was my first “real” shift at Starbucks–basically, without my trainer (which also means I start making tips!).  And it was kind of rough!

Now, here’s where the shift comes in.  In the past, my immediate thought would have been, “Today went horribly; therefore, the whole job is going to be miserable.”  Or, at the very least, “working with these certain people will always be bad.”  The underlying premise, though, is that as soon as anything bad happens, that must be the new “normal” for how things are going to go.  I had this thought a lot in relationships: we’d have a fight, so now the rest of our relationship will be awful in the same way.

Without even realizing it, though, my thought today, after needing to process a little, was, “Well, at least I got the worst shift out of the way. It can only go uphill from here!”  What a dramatic shift!

Instead of seeing the bad as setting the tone, I now see it as the exception.  I now believe that bad days are inevitable, but they don’t have to be threatening.  And the same things goes for conflict in relationships: yes, it will happen, but far from destroying a relationship–it will only make it stronger!  My best friends are the people I’ve had conflicts with and we’ve been able to get through them together.

I don’t think a thinking shift like this is something that can be taught.  I think it happens over time as you experience acceptance even on your worst days.  At least that’s been my experience.  I’ve been loved even when I’m not doing well, and that’s allowed me realize that bad stuff doesn’t have to destroy me.  I hope you too can come to see the rough, bumpy parts of life as the exception, and as the place from which we can grow tremendously.  My God teach us to live life to its most abundant, learning from the bad and pressing into all things he has for us.

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